prodom – Alexandra Snow https://alexandrasnow.com Kink. Power. Strategy. Advocacy Fri, 03 Feb 2023 21:28:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 182310864 Preparing for a Session with a Dominatrix https://alexandrasnow.com/preparing-for-a-session-with-a-dominatrix/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=preparing-for-a-session-with-a-dominatrix Fri, 03 Feb 2023 21:28:24 +0000 https://alexandrasnow.com/?p=8816 [vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text]

Congratulations on your upcoming session! I’ve assembled a little helpful information for you to get the most out of this life-changing experience.

You’re getting ready for session with a professional Dominatrix, and you want to make sure that it goes off without a hitch. That’s understandable! But if you’re not prepared, you could wind up with a less than stellar experience or even damaging your relationship with your professional in the process.

I’ll share my advice on preparing for a session with me, but these tips can be applied to any experience with a BDSM professional.

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You received a confirmation email with all the necessary details. Make sure you don’t delete this email, and make sure you put your appointment on the calendar so you don’t forget!

My schedule books up quite far in advance and if you have to reschedule, it could be a month or more before you get back in. It’s also incredibly disrespectful to me, because my time is limited and I’ve carved this space in my schedule for both of us. W

hen you reschedule within a week of your appointment, I don’t take last-minute sessions to replace them.

I am running multiple sites, a non-profit, shooting content, and managing my fanclubs and I only allot so much time to in-person sessions.  So treat this experience like the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity it is. Follow the arrival instructions carefully. Don’t arrive too early and if you’re going to be late, make sure you let me know as soon as possible.

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Make sure you get enough sleep before your session and eat something healthy prior. I’ve had so many clients who don’t eat before their sessions and end up shaky, light-headed, or worse.

Make sure to drink plenty of water before you arrive at the dungeon as well to stay hydrated throughout your time there! If you have an extended appointment, feel free to bring your own drinks and snacks as well. If you take medications, make sure you’ve taken them that morning. You might be nervous, but forgetting something your body needs is a sure way to ruin the experience.

This should go without saying, but arrive sober. You may feel like having a drink to calm your nerves, but it can actually have a very negative effect on the scene. Alcohol in your system increases the risk of lasting marks or reactions to certain play, and being impaired means that I can’t fully tell what you’re consenting to. If I feel that you cannot consent fully, I won’t play with you. End of story.

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Shower and clean your body with a gentle soap and moisturize your skin. Dry skin is flaky and unsightly, and it can leave you at risk for broken skin or marks from certain kinds of play. Exfoliate, it’s good for you!

Don’t wear heavy cologne, my nose is quite sensitive. Do use mouthwash though!

Avoid using lots of hair products, because I enjoy running my fingers through your hair. If you want to shave, now’s the time to do it! You can also trim any hair that might get in the way (for example, if there is some pubic hair that could get caught on clamps).

My preference is for closely trimmed or fully shaved public hair.

If you’re requesting anal play, administer an enema the night before AND the day of for best results. Use the infographics below to educate yourself on enemas.

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Come dressed nicely, but not to draw attention to yourself. Business casual is always a safe bet. If you have special outfits or clothes to wear for your session, bring them with you. Don’t wear them to your appointment. (Except panties, you can wear those.)

Bring gifts or thoughtful gestures to show appreciation for me. You can peruse my website for ideas. Some good things to bring include craft sodas, chocolates (in a nice box), live plants such as orchids, sour candy, luxury candles (please no cheap candles), toys/gear such as whips, restraints, etc– especially ones from my wishlist.

If there’s something specific you’d like me to use on you, bringing it with you is always a good way to have it included in your scene. You can also bring donations to the dungeon, but make sure you put these in a separate envelope.

My studio is now a non-profit 501c3, so all your donations are tax-deductible!

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It’s essential to be open and honest with me. I am here to help create amazing experiences, not judge or criticize you. If I don’t understand what your fantasies entail, I cannot provide the best experience possible. Keep in mind that I may not offer everything you’re seeking, but I can work around most ideas and concepts.

Bring your ideas to me, especially. I don’t have a “one size fits all” kind of session. Each one is unique and built from the compatibility we create, so your ideas are always welcome. I may or may not use them, but they’re always beneficial for helping to prime my creative process.

If this is your first session, or you’re requesting another interview because you haven’t been back in a while, we will sit down and have a candid conversation about your experiences, your limits, things you’re looking to explore, and the ideas you have. This will be casual and relaxed, not part of your session time. This allows for me to read you openly and honestly.

Being open to new experiences is the most important thing you can do when preparing for your BDSM session. It’s also the hardest, because it requires you to let go of any preconceived notions or expectations and surrender yourself to the experience.

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A lot of people are afraid to be themselves in the bedroom, but this doesn’t work for BDSM. If you’re not being honest with yourself about what you want and need, then it’s unlikely that your session will go well. If you have a fantasy of being a “slave” but really don’t understand what that means, then it’s best to just be yourself and allow the session to evolve organically.

This also includes asking for extreme activities that you don’t have any experience with. I’m going to go slowly and increase the intensity over time, because I’m not going to risk injuring you physically or mentally.

I don’t have any expectations from you other than being polite, honest, and respectful. I work with everyone across the power and gender spectrum and I value authenticity above all else.

This also goes for being “stoic” in your session. I love my pets to be expressive, vocal, and reactionary to the things I’m doing to them. Don’t just sit there and take it. That toxic masculinity crap doesn’t work around here.

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Preparing your mindset is an important step in preparing for a BDSM session. It’s not just about being physically ready, but also mentally and emotionally prepared. The best way to do this is by taking some time before your session to think about what you want out of it. Write it out if that helps, bring it with you if you think you’ll forget something.

It’s also crucial that you come in with an open mind. Don’t try to micromanage the experience, or want to know all the little details before they happen. I don’t even know what those are, because each session is different. Play should be organic and exploratory. Let me take the lead and guide you through.

If you’re coming in with the expectation of a specific thing, be realistic that your body may not cooperate. It happens! Your fantasy may be to take a 10′ dildo or be teased for hours on end, but that may not be realistic. A specific activity or scene may not occur because of time, equipment, how each our bodies feel, energy levels, or any number of things, and that needs to be ok. If you cling to a very specific outcome, you’ll miss all the wonderful connections and experiences you could be having along the way.

The same goes for orgasms. If you arrive with an expectation to cum, you’ll find I likely won’t let you. Orgasms are a privilege, not a right, and I feel that men already have an unhealthy obsession with them that gets in the way of experiencing truly incredible scenes. You might cum, you might not. But if you come in with a positive attitude

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I’m a human being, not a fetish fantasy dispenser. I’m very very good at what I do, but I have bad days, tired days, aches and pains, and stresses just like you do. I may not be able to do a certain activity or be in the headspace for certain kinds of scenes all the time. I will always strive to create experiences that are fulfilling for both of us, but that requires a willingness to be open to whatever happens that day.

The best way to make sure I’m in a good mood and feel excited to play with you is to be enthusiastic, positive, and not demanding. If I feel that you are truly excited with whatever I may cook up that day, I’m more likely to go the extra mile to make it extraordinary. If you come in with demands and expectations, topping from the bottom, or petulant behavior, you’ll not get the experience you crave from me.

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If you are new to BDSM, it’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a stupid question. If you’re not sure what something means or if it sounds like something that would be enjoyable for you, ask! Just make sure that you’re keeping your pre-session communication to a minimum unless you’re compensating me for my time.

I don’t have the time or energy for long emails or phone sessions prior to appointments, these things are best discussed during your interview. If you have logistical questions before your session, you can always ask those.

If you have specific needs that need addressing before we begin your session (for example: “I want more pain than usual today”), don’t hesitate–tell me about them! The more information I have about your desires and limits, the better equipped I am at fulfilling them. You should also feel free to tell me if something isn’t working for either one of us, things that are going well, or places you want to explore.

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It is important to be comfortable with yourself before you begin. If you’re struggling with something, let me know. If a particular activity does not feel right for your body or mind, tell me so I can help guide you through it in a way that works for both of us.

My particular style of domination includes a fair amount of psychological play, and this can open up areas in you that you’re scared to address. That’s ok. Let me in. I am here to help you become the best version of yourself.

I enjoy the process of getting inside your head, and that requires you to open up to me and give me access to all the deep, dark corners of your psyche. This is where all the best play comes from, because I’m able to utilize the little gems of your mind to create scenes and situations.

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Take some time to process your experience. Journal about it if you like, send me an email with your thoughts and feelings. I always enjoy reading your feedback and incorporating it into the next scene. It’s also incredibly validating for me to read about how this experience has affected you.

Take some time to allow these feelings to coalesce, so don’t worry about emailing me right away.

Take care of your body. Rest, hydrate, stretch. Some people experience “sub drop” after a session, which can result in lethargy or depression, which is normal after the high level of endorphins you’ve experienced. Take care of yourself in this time and know that it will pass. It often helps to schedule the next appointment or plan for a future experience so it gives you something to look forward to.

Lastly..

Don’t worry about getting it right the first time or ANY time, this isn’t about you being perfect. I don’t expect you to be the perfect submissive, I just want you to come away from each experience a little better than you arrived. Relax and surrender to the unknown. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

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